A year of pandemic-related stress and immersive 24/7 family time might mean moms want something different this Mother鈥檚 Day, but an informal survey reveals winning gifts might be time, space and gestures.
Author Susan G. Groner conducted a small poll that asked: “Tell me what you want.”
Groner is the author of the book “.”
Respondents had three options:
- A 鈥� Leave me alone and give me a day to be by myself.
- B 鈥� Looking forward to breakfast in bed, flowers and homemade crafts.
- C 鈥� I want to hang out with my good mom friends and not my family.
鈥淎nd, almost everyone said A and C, and really just want to be by themselves or with their friends,鈥欌�� Groner said.
Giving mom a break might include someone else taking care of the kids, everyone leaving the house for a while or letting mom disappear free from care for a day.
Rethinking Mother鈥檚 Day gifts, Groner鈥檚 suggestions for partners and children:
- Set up a surprise: Arrange with mom鈥檚 best girlfriends a day or evening for them to hang out. That might include arranging for child care.
- Create coupons: Take on some extra responsibilities, create coupons mom can cash in for someone else to be responsible for dinner, order takeout, clean the kitchen or give her time off from other typical duties.
- Family field trip freedom: 鈥淚f it鈥檚 a hike or going to a museum or going wherever 鈥� nobody gets to complain. And, make mom feel good about doing that thing.鈥�
- Make a top 10 list: 鈥淭he kids and the partner make a list of the top 10 things they appreciate about mom. And then the kids read it out loud. It would make me feel really good, if my kids did that.鈥�
Moms should also speak up about their wants and needs.聽Groner said you shouldn鈥檛 depend on loved ones to figure out what you want or need.
鈥淎sk for help 鈥� always know you can ask for help. Don鈥檛 expect, as a mom, that you鈥檙e doing a bad job or you鈥檙e a failure if you need help,鈥� Groner said. “It鈥檚 totally acceptable and warranted and a good thing to do. You鈥檙e setting a good example for your children when you ask for help.”
If you鈥檙e exhausted and need a 20-minute nap, or stressed out about something that needs immediate undivided attention, or whatever the need might be in a particular moment 鈥� say so.
鈥淓xpress it and you鈥檙e going to teach your children to be able to do that, too, instead of slamming a door or having a tantrum, knowing that we鈥檙e not going to judge them for feeling that way either,鈥� she said.
To hear about challenges and solutions some other parents are experiencing and learning about, you can check out Groner鈥檚 new podcast “.”
